Welcome to the first installment of what I hope will be a regular feature on this website: Ask the Brain, a column where readers can ask advice about love, life, writing, and, well, just about anything.

Speaking of which, do you have a question for the brain? Ask it here! (Be sure and include the location where you’re writing from, though that can be obscured if need be.)

Two weeks ago, I asked readers for questions. Now is when I provide some answers:

Dear Brain: So I’ve ended up in one of those dreaded “I think my friend’s  boyfriend is cheating on her — do I tell?” situations. I can’t say for sure, but I saw the boyfriend in an intimate almost-kissing-type situation in a parking lot where it was clear they didn’t know they were being watched. It’s complicated by the fact that I have never liked the boyfriend (he’s a pompous idiot, exactly the kind of guy you’d think would cheat), and my friend knows this. They’ve been together forever, and even live together, although they’ve “almost” broken up a few times for reasons that have never been quite clear to me (and every time I’ve casually encouraged such a break-up, I’ve ended up regretting it when they ultimately end up staying together). So … do I tell? –Tongue-Tied in Connecticut

The Brain Responds: The usual response to this situation is, “Ask yourself this question, ‘Would you want to know?’” But Brent’s Brain thinks this is too simplistic.

More sophisticated advice-givers might say offer you this slightly-more-helpful question: “Do you think she would want to know?”

But the Brain maintains that neither of those questions is quite right.

Here’s the right question: How close a friend is this?

From your letter, it’s not quite clear. She’s obviously more than a casual acquaintance and you’ve known her a while, but she clearly hasn’t shared with you the intimate details about her relationship with you.

Maybe she’s a close friend anyway — one who knows how you feel about her boyfriend and therefore chooses not to discuss him around you.

In that case, yeah, you tell. If they’ve been together as long as you say, and if they’ve almost broken up before, she probably already knows what her boyfriend is doing. But you’re close enough with her to be able to say, “Look, this is awkward, but I saw something that I think you should know.”

In any event, be discreet. In fact, there might  be a perfectly logical explanation for all this. (What? There might!) You’re offering information, nothing more. By offering her specific advice along with the info (“Leave the bastard!”), you’re injecting yourself directly into their relationship — something that, frankly, is none of your business.

Drop the bomb, be available to talk if she wants, then leave it alone. This is about helping her, not satisfying your own curiosity.

But if she’s not a close friend, it’s a much tougher call. Have you considered the fact that this could be some kind of “open” relationship — or a “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell” kind of one, where the boyfriend is allowed to play around, but the girlfriend doesn’t want to know anything about it? These arrangements are more common than you think — and, frankly, they’re also none of your business.

It’s complicated by the fact that you don’t like the boyfriend. What a perfect opportunity to get him out of her life forever! But this, of course, is exactly the kind of motivation that will wreak havoc on your karma — have you coming back as a squirming little grub  in a future life.

If her personal life is none of your business even if you are a close friend, it’s really none of your business if you’re not.

Bottom line? Tell if it’s a close friend, don’t tell if it’s a casual acquaintance, and if it’s somewhere in between, remove all your negative feelings for the boyfriend, and then do whatever you gut is telling you is right.

Dear Brain: So I’m a guy, and my boyfriend and I were recently in this small town in Mexico, taking a cab. The cabby didn’t speak English, and I don’t speak much Spanish, but I know enough to know that he thought we were two straight guys and was asking us if we wanted him to arrange a (female) hooker for us — in, uh, very graphic terms, no less. I’m an out-and-proud kinda guy — that’s the only way things will ever change — but we were in an unfamiliar country, so my boyfriend and I both pretended we didn’t understand. But I’ve felt kinda bad about it ever since. Should we have outed ourselves to him? – Jay, Palm Springs

The Brain Responds:  Been there, done that!

Okay, so maybe I’ve never been in that exact situation, but my partner and I have been in plenty of foreign countries. And we’ve always chosen to be very, very discreet, at least in countries that are anti-gay and/or corrupt.

Here’s the deal: despite some recent, well-publicized advancements (like marriage in Mexico City), Mexico isn’t always gay-tolerant even in the big cities. In the small towns, it can be downright Middle Ages. That foul-mouthed cabby who was trying to get you to pay for sex? He may also have been a devout Catholic who would just as soon turn you in to the police for violating anti-gay laws that you didn’t even know existed. Or maybe he’d just pass the word to someone else in town who just might end up harassing you later that night.

Unfortunately, Mexico also has a reputation for a sometimes shaky criminal and legal system. And anti-gay attitudes alongside shaky legals systems can a horrible combination.

Bottom line? Not only was it perfectly okay for you to not come out in a situation like that, you would’ve been an absolute idiot to do so.

Always remember when it comes to personal activism: safety first. Sure, there are very rare times when it might be necessary to take a personal risk in the name of a greater good — if, say, someone else’s life was in danger.

But this, obviously, was not one of those times. You made the right call.

Now do you have a question for the Brain? Ask it here!